Take It Face To Face

Somewhere along the way, I must’ve missed something. Britney Spears…Isn’t she that chick who had a bunch of hits back in the 90s? I’m pretty sure I remember her having a shotgun wedding or two, flashing countless photographers, getting slapped with child neglect accusations and losing any shred of dignity she might have ever possessed.

So what on Earth is she doing performing at the Verizon Center tonight? And even worse, why are half of the people I know going?

I understand that celebrities are people too. They make mistakes, and they hire PR people to tidy up after them. But I wish someone would explain to me this secret formula the public seems to use for which fallen stars they will and won’t forgive.

Just think about it. A few off the cuff examples whose logic simply eludes me:

Michael Phelps: You probably know what I think of him. I don’t believe he has the tiniest shred of remorse. Forgiving him twice in a row for nearly identical indiscretions? Wrong answer.

Mariah Carey: She’s second only to the Beatles with Billboard number one hits. That’s more than Elvis. One mental breakdown and it’s kind of like she never existed. Do you think she could sell out the Verizon Center today? I’m no expert on the matter, but I tend to doubt it.

Rihanna: Five number one hits in less than three years. Her boyfriend, rapper Chris Brown, beats her senseless and according to survey of teenage girls, nearly 50% believe Rihanna is to blame. I realize teenage girls are not the greatest indicator of the general public, but universally Rihanna’s reputation seems to be tanking because of her perceived role in the incident, and her decision to stay in the relationship.

When it comes to lost reputations, Michael Jackson is one of the only disgraced celebrities that I think the public has responded to appropriately. After years of unnatural transformative surgeries and numerous allegations of child molestation, the former pop king is an incontrovertible pariah, the quintessence of a reputation gone horribly south.

But back to Britney Spears, the princess of the hour. Reputation-wise, she really needs to join Michael in the dog house. The fact that some think she has talent is just not a good enough excuse. Michael had talent too. Lots more of it. His greatest hits cd is in my car as we speak.

My point: talent only goes so far when it comes to trumping craziness. Britney Spears didn’t exactly write those songs. Whoever did should’ve handed them to someone else, because Britney stopped deserving your money and your attention when she shaved her head and started assaulting the paparazzi with umbrellas.

So why do you think Britney’s still around? What’s her secret? Tell us your thoughts.

On Saturday night the American University men’s basketball team defeated Holy Cross to become the champions of the Patriot League for the second consecutive year. The victory earned the Eagles a 14 seed in the approaching NCAA championship, and the campus went wild with celebration.

Less than 24 hours later, purple banners that boldly pronounce “We’re dancing!” went up on multiple buildings. The grounds staff got busy painting a ten foot copy of the tournament logo across the grass of the main quad. The athletics department began preparing and advertising a campus wide pep rally and sendoff for the team.

When ticket sales were announced, $75 apiece, people began lining up 14 hours in advance for the chance to watch the team play Villanova in Philadelphia on Thursday. Anyone who got in line less than five hours before the box office opened was turned away, as all the seats had already been sold.

But in the midst of this throng of school spirit, not everyone is celebrating. One junior from AU’s championship field hockey team remarked to me yesterday that it’s “a very bitter moment.” Though this past season marked the team’s fifth consecutive Patriot League Championship, no one, she says, really seems to care.

AU’s field hockey team has been consistently ranked among the top 15 teams in the nation; in 2005, they were fifth. The volleyball team boasts a similar record, yet the campus takes little notice.

Her frustration is clear as this player lists example after example of the campus’ indifference. The field hockey team, despite its overwhelming success, has never been given its own pep rally. The campus store, too, carries not a single piece of AU field hockey merchandise.

The discrepancy is, to me at least, disconcerting. I care very little about sports; they’re all equally irrelevant to me. But when one team is that blatantly revered over the others, I can’t help but wonder why.

What is it about men’s basketball that earns the sport so much more attention, and consequently credit, than any other, including its female counterpart? Is it a manifestation of inherent sexism? It really feels that way.

The country will be watching the NCAA tournament, and such an opportunity is purported to be one of the greatest PR and recruiting tools available to the university. Though the causality can’t be proven, this so-called “Flutie Effect” appears to have already impacted American. According to a friend placed in the Office of Admissions, the percentage of male applicants to AU skyrocketed this past year, following the school’s appearance in the Big Dance.

I’m a little uncertain how one could go about fixing a problem like this one, particularly because it’s hard to pinpoint who’s actually responsibility for this inequality. Should the athletics department start marketing the other teams more heavily and hope the interest follows? Should TV networks make a concerted effort to cover sports more equally? Or is the legacy of favoring men’s sports so entrenched that the situation is unchangeable? Tell us your thoughts.

In case word hasn’t reached you yet, Denny’s restaurants today are serving up free Grand Slams. (You have until two o’clock to get there. Go! Go! Go!) The prospect of free eggs, pancakes, bacon and sausage had me scheming last night about ways I could take advantage of this offer and still make it to work on time. I never did figure it out.

I’ve been speculating about promotions of this sort since one of the local Z-Burgers had a free burger day about a month back. I marked it on my calendar, of course, and showed up expecting some sort of stipulations.

But no. There were absolutely none. Not that I attempted this, but I think if I’d decided to order seventeen double cheeseburgers with the works they would have just handed them to me and sent me on my merry way.

So what’s in it for the restaurant? I have no data to support this, but I imagine Z-Burger broke even that day, considering all the fries and sodas they must’ve sold. Everyone I went with bought something. How could you not?

With Denny’s though, I’m not as sure. Denny’s predicts it will give away about two million Grand Slams over the course of the day. That’s a lot of lost revenue to recoup. Or maybe it’s a steal when you consider the good PR that comes with it. Probably the latter.

When I was seven or so, Denny’s was my favorite restaurant. I don’t think I’ve eaten at one, nor given the chain much thought, since. And now, more than a decade later I’m suddenly so consumed by the thought I’m missing their breakfast that I wrote an entire blog post about it. I think Denny’s might be on to something.

Other restaurants, take note! Free food is the way to go.